Here are some weird, strange, antiquated, whatever else you want to call them, laws, regulations, etc. that are apparently still on the books in many of our states, cities, counties, and provinces.

Alabama

• In Jasper, Alabama it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger than the diameter of his thumb. (This is actually a throw back to English law and the origin of the phrase, "rule of thumb")
• In Mobile, Alabama it is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels

Alaska

• A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

Arizona

• In Arizona you may not have more than two dildos in a house

California

• In Los Angeles, California, a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
• In Belvedere California, a City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.
• In Hermosa Beach, California, no person may show his or her buttocks on a playground.
• In San Francisco Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
• In Walnut, California males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.

Colorado

• In Logan County, Colorado it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Florida

• In Florida having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• In Florida, when having sex, only the missionary position is legal. Also you may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays. It is considered an offense to shower naked. Oral sex is also illegal and you may not kiss your wife's breasts.
• In Pensacola, Florida a women can be fined for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
• In Sarasota, Florida you may not catch crabs.
• In Tampa, Florida women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing". Also lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

Georgia

• In Roswell, Georgia the flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured.

Idaho

• It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Illinois

• A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
• In Champaign, Illinois one may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
• In Chicago, it is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
• In Crete, Illinois it is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
• In Eureka, Illinois a man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
• In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

Iowa

• Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you or holding you in his arms.

Kentucky

• In Owensboro, Kentucky one may not receive anal sex.
• An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with aclub." The following important amendment, however, is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to horses."

Maryland

• In Ocean City, Maryland a law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.

Michigan

• In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

Minnesota

• In Minnetonka, Minnesota any person who persuades another to enter a massage therapist business after 11:00 PM is guilty of a misdemeanor.
• No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Mississippi

• In Mississippi, unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000. Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.

Missouri

• In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

Montana

• Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude.
• Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds two ounces of clothing.
• In Montana, it is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

Nebraska

• The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white, cotton nightshirts.

New Hampshire

• In New Hampshire on Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey

• Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.

New Mexico

• In New Mexico, state officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
• In Carrizozo, New Mexico, it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
• During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.

New York

• In New York City, women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. But it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

North Carolina

• In North Carolina, if a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married. Also couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.
• In North Carolina it is also illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
• In Charlotte, North Carolina women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

Oklahoma

• Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.

Oregon

• In Oregon, it is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.

Pennsylvania

• In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

Rhode Island

• In Rhode Island any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. -SECTION 11-40-1

Tennessee

• In Tennessee, more than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

Texas

• In Borger, Texas it is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts, and explosive firecrackers of any kind.
• In Dallas, it's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
• In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

Utah

• A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
• Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but your spouse. Next to that adultery, oral and anal sex, masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to imprisonment. Sex with an animal, however, unless performed for profit, is NOT considered sodomy. Polygamy provided only the missionary position has been applied-is only a misdemeanor.

Virginia

• In Virginia, not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. Oral and anal sex are also illegal. So is tickling a woman.
• In Stafford County, Virginia, it is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm.
• In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset.

Washington (State)

• In Seattle, Washington, Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.

Washington D.C.

• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.

West Virginia

• In West Virginia, any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.
• In West Virginia, it is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.

Wisconsin

• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

Wyoming

• An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

Know of any I should add? Email me here.