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She once was so vibrant and innocent,
She gave her all to be who she was
To be pleasing and found worthy of love,
Trust, protection, desire and worth.

With her arms so lovingly placed around her teddy bear,
She walked through the open doors,
Hazel flecked eyes blinded by the fog of disillusions
Now just an empty shell of the baby girl who once dwelt there.

Her emotions running rampant through the days
Her core lost in all the fantasies of a life that could have been
Dark ominous walls cast around her innocence and honesty
She dwells the rest of her days guarded and broken.

The child who was so eager to be subservient
Destroyed in one last fatale swoop
The pages of her life so blatantly thrown to the wayside
Constantly failing her own expectations, and in the end failing herself.

She wanders through life, never with a destination
Her goals now crumpled and laying forlornly
In the heap of a pile of cold moistened dirt
The grave the only proof of the existence of her.

The old and withered woman, gazes deeply at the headstone,
Crystalline tears cascading down once so supple skin,
The memories fading quickly of what once was,
She turns and slowly walks away one last time.

Infinity could never be long enough to restore the innocence
Of what was once an angelic baby girl.

©2004 sinful

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Greetings Sir

I hear the familiar knocking and my heart stops.

I peek to see if it's Him, it is and i begin to breathe again

My chest rising and falling in deep irregular motions

My heart pounds against my rib cage forcefully

Feeling the butterflies creep slowly through my insides

A small quiver of lightening travels down my spine as i shiver with anticipation

My skin begins to ripple and crawl as the goose bumps adorn my flesh

A soft sensual smile bestows upon my supple lips

A spark, a glow encumbers my hazel eyes

My senses focused purely upon Him, blocked from all outside forces

All of a sudden i am swept into an abyss where only He and i exist

My lips part , as i kneel on the floor before Him, whispering *Greetings Sir*

© sinful Jan 19 2003

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My Heart Awakens

He has captured a piece of my heart i felt i closed down months ago.

Never did i think i would be able to care for Someone online again as i do for Him.

He repeatedly told me not to put Him on a pedestal, but i could not stop how i felt.

When i get an offline from Him, my heart melts and i smile from ear to ear.

When something upsets me in real life i think of Him and somehow things done seem so bad.

When He isn't on, i think of Him often, i find i have begun to do things i haven't done for myself in a long time.

I would be lying if i said i was not scared but its no for the reasons He thinks.

I am scared of His rejection to my feelings and desires.

My dreams are filled with pleasing Him completely as He sees fit.

I don't think words have ever been so sweet as His gentle whispers in my ear of "good girl".

© justme2973 Jan23 2003

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