To the girls, I say: “Keep an open-mind.” I’ve had anal sex, and will have it again, and it has its own unique pleasures.

To the guys, I say: “Be patient and empathetic.”

Now, if you’re wanting to get into anal sex, there are several things both the guy and gal can do to make it a pleasurable erotic adventure. (I’m focusing on heterosexual couples here, as I assume a homosexual couple has already worked out these issues. But, these suggestions, taken from my own experience, can apply to any couple interested in trying anal sex or in making it more enjoyable.)

The primary keys to enjoyable anal sex are relaxation on the part of the receiver and empathy and patience on the part of the giver. This means, guys, that you don’t pressure your gal into anal sex. If she feels pressured, she can’t relax, and if she can’t relax, it’s going to be a painful experience for her. Be patient, and be willing to work up to actual act in several small steps, or even across several sessions. Remember, patience is an oft’ rewarded virtue.

Here are a few suggestions that can help you experience an enjoyable session of anal sex:

• Gals, relax. If you drink alcohol, have one (or two!) too many drinks. If you don’t drink alcohol, take a couple of Kava Kava capsules (an herbal relaxant), drink a few cups of chamomile tea, take a bubble bath, have your partner give you a massage, or whatever else will relax you.
• Guys, as part of your partner’s relaxation, don’t pressure her! It’s fine to be excited and enthusiastic, but don’t build everything up so much that your gal feels pressure to perform. If she can't relax, or if things start to be uncomfortable, she needs to feel free to call a time-out or ask for a different game, or to tone the play down a bit. Believe me, she needs to know that she’s in control of this situation and that you’ll accept and respect her decisions and choices. In other words, you’ve got to be a good sport and play fair!
• Gals, before getting involved in any serious ass play, give yourself an enema (or have your partner administer it to you). I suggest you don’t give yourself an enema while you’re still digesting a large meal—that will make the enema more uncomfortable. I like to use an inexpensive, pre-mixed, disposable enema. I just fill the bathroom sink up with hot water to warm the enema liquid, then administer it, then “let it loose” once the urge becomes great. Although an enema can be a little uncomfortable, the discomfort only lasts for a few minutes, and believe me, it prevents most of the unpleasant “mess” that can be associated with anal sex.
• Play slowly, gradually building up to the main event. Guys, it may take several sessions of “build-up” play before your gal feels comfortable with the big step—let her set the pace.
• Foreplay is always a great way to get things going. Do whatever you both enjoy for foreplay, but keep in mind that the goal is to keep the gal relaxed.
• Build up to the ass play gradually. Start by playing gently and lightly around your intended’s asshole. Once things are warmed up a little bit, gently apply your favorite lubricant (you’re gonna need a LOT of good lube before all is said and done) around your gal’s asshole and on your fingers, up to the knuckle. Start by gently and gradually inserting your finger into your gal’s asshole. Do NOT shove the length of your finger up her ass—be patient and be gentle! This is where the empathy starts coming in, guys. To you, it may seem you only have the barest tip of your finger up her ass, but to her, it probably feels like half the length of the big end of a baseball bat is inside. Remember, the gal needs to be in control and you need to listen to what she’s saying and feeling. If it hurts her, ease up!
• Once she’s feeling comfortable with your finger, try moving to something a little more substantial. A small, thin dildo, anal plug, or even a thin, nicely shaped carrot will work. Personally, I like it when He uses a metal cigar tube. Once again, make sure everything is well-lubed, and also make sure it is a comfortable temperature! Nothing will kill the mood faster and remove any relaxation achieved than having something cold shoved in your ass!
• Keep up gentle foreplay throughout. To help keep me relaxed, He gently strokes my ass, my stomach, my tits, everywhere, all in a relaxing, loving manner. He speaks to me softly, kisses me gently all over — He keeps things as calm and relaxed and moving as slowly as I need.
• Once things are going well with the next-sized toy, you might want to try easing into the main event. And guys, I do mean ease! Move slowly, gently, and carefully.
• When you’re ready for the main event, make sure lube is applied generously to your guy’s cock and to your gal’s asshole. If you’re practicing safe sex, make sure that your condom is well-lubed. And although I’ve seen lubes designed for anal sex that are supposed to “numb” you, I don’t recommend those for two reasons. First, if you’re numbed, you can’t fully enjoy the pleasant sensations. Second, if you’re numbed, you may not notice any discomfort—and you should always pay attention to any discomfort, as that is your body telling you to move into a slightly different position.
• Guys, when you’re ready to make your big entry, remember to move slowly! (This is patience and empathy again.) Gradually work your way in, and work your way in just a little at a time. Gals, you may feel more comfortable if your guy lies back and you lower yourself onto him at your own pace. Never, ever just plunge in, even if you’re already partway in—I promise you, it will be unpleasant for the gal, and it will be hard, if not impossible, for her to ever be able to relax enough again to give it another go.
• Don’t start making big strokes right away. Gradually get the cock in, and don’t go in further than feels comfortable. Guys, you may not feel like you’re in very far, but once again, for us gals, one inch is going to feel like six or seven. Just be patient, move slowly, and ease the cock in gently—it’ll take a little time for the ass to relax and be able to accept more length and/or strokes.
• Once the cock’s in enough to be able to do some stroking, start off slow and easy with short strokes. Gradually, you may be able to increase the length and depth of the strokes, but this is going to depend upon the relaxation level of the gal and what she’s able to take and enjoy. Don’t push it!

After play is done, be sure to clean any toys (including your cock, guys!) thoroughly with antiseptic soap. And of course, don’t stick your cock (or a toy) into her pussy after or during anal play without washing it first!

This method works great for me, and I’ve learned to enjoy anal sex! Give it a try :)